For When You REALLY Have to Go

For those of you who aren't familiar, we are big Portland Trailblazer fans. This is a fairly new development since we drafted Greg Oden and Thom got excited enough to buy season tickets. Now we are deep into the whole Rip City fever again. There were many years, especially the "Jailblazer" years where we were totally disillusioned with the team but now they seem to be on an upswing. So, once in awhile if I can't go Dallin gets to go in my place. This is fun for him, he loves it, and has even made it on the big screen a few times because he's so stinkin' cute. Some time during each game a big inflatable blimp flies around the arena dropping envelopes onto the clamoring crowd. The contents of the envelopes have always been a mystery to us because we have never, hardly ever, even come close to getting one to flutter down to us. Gee, could it be a gift certificate for $50 for a nice restaurant, or some cool Blazer gear from the merch store? How about gift cards for Fred Meyer or a coupons for free car washes? We didn't know, but we were hoping that one day we would be the lucky recipients of these wonderfully anonymous gifts. Finally our time arrived, well, Dallin's time arrived I should say. The envelope fluttered right down to our seats and since most of our seatmates were out getting chicken fingers and beer the competition for the coveted prizes was at an all time low. That beautiful envelope made a beeline for our seats, and Thom dove for it like it was the game winning ball. I get all of this information secondhand because of course I wasn't there, but while I'm taking in the story I'm so excited that our dream had been realized and we had netted a cool prize. I wait, patiently, to hear what fabulous booty is now ours when Thom pulls out the envelope to show me. On the front of the crumpled paper is the cheerful logo for Honey Pot. The famous portapotty company. My eyebrows raise in question. "Huh? We get free use of a portapotty? I don't get it." Then Thom proudly pulls out the shirt. Granted, it's a really nice quality t-shirt, but who the bleep is gonna want to wear it???? There, bright, bold, and clear as day is that lovely logo. All that anticipation, hope, and effort, all to end up advertising a place no one wants to go...unless they REALLY have to. Yay.